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 They call him Ryu [Expert]

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Ryu Taru
Junior Member
Ryu Taru

Posts : 27
EXP : 775
Join date : 2014-12-21

They call him Ryu [Expert]  Empty
PostSubject: They call him Ryu [Expert]    They call him Ryu [Expert]  EmptySun Dec 21, 2014 9:13 pm

Full Name: Ryu "The Breeze" Taru
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Element: Earth
Birthplace: Northern Water Tribe
Position: Depends on what is offered
Training: Ryu is more talented with his earth bender more or so than his metal bending but has picked up the use of projectile weapons.

Earthbending/Metalbending: Expert

Hand to Hand: Intermediate

Seismic Sense: Expert

Shuriken: Expert


Personality:

Ryu is a rather strange individual. He is one of the coolest guys you could ever meet and he is far from a closed book. The man loves to talk and will talk to you all day if you allow him to. Ryu can be rather pushy and over hyper at some times and it makes him look stupid sometime but that is just part of his wild side. Even tho it does not look like it Ryu is quite strong but prefers to resort to violence only if needed. Ryu has a strong love for children as he says they are the source of life that keeps the world going along with the on going fact that he thinks babies are made of natural energy from the chakras of the universe. Not to mention Ryu has drive that makes him very determined and eager to do things no matter how difficult. The man is very loyal and will follow his leader to the ends of the world as long as its making the world a better place. Ryu is a man who loves to fight even if its just for two seconds he doesn't care if its a spar or even a life or death situation, A fight is a fight and that is how Ryu feels. That may feel like an oxymoron but those context of battle differ given the situation. Once the fight has started Ryu treats it as his true love such as he was battling a long time friend or an enemy this is when he finally gets to shine and prove his leadership. Even when Ryu is angry or sad he tries to makes the best out of every situation just so he can control himself and keep his cool, His bond with his brethren is like no other. They share almost everything and are completely different. His ideal on females is rather simple. His favorite subject is history if not spiritual studies and he loves to learn new things in regards them. He loves to train and would do it all day if possible. As for his dislikes they are many things. Such as people who think bending is a work of the devil. And people who believe they are better than others man was made equal and men shall die equal.

Abilities:

Earthbending - Ryu's style of combat is different from most earthbenders. Considering Earthbending is a strong style of combat typically it causes for very strong footed stances which Ryu doesn't use often. His style of earthbending was inspired by Toph Beifong because of her un-traditional  stance Ryu wanted to try something along those same lines. He spent a bit of time as a child watching waterbenders which inspired his style also. You could say he studies off movement and bases his style off of that.

Metalbending - Ryu's style of metalbending is totally different because he never moved around much while learning it. He stayed in the same city while learning so he never got to experiment on how he used it like he did earthbending so his style is simple. If he is facing an opponent who has a volitale offense and usually very fast he uses a slow style of metalbending which allows him to spread his metal around the battlefield to his liking. Very methodical and well paced disguising his true intentions well. If the opponent moves slow and methodical the style of metalbending is high octane and fast masking one attack within another to cause confusion on the battlefield. With metalbending Ryu likes to keep the outside world guessing including his men. If no one knows your strategy no one can prepare for it.

Hand to Hang - When it comes to close quarter combat Ryu knows enough to survive in a fight. He uses his kicks more than his legs and often tries to trap his opponent in submissions to subdue him and make the fight short. The shorter the fight the less time they have to figure you out.

Shuriken - Ryu normally uses his shuriken in combination with his metal bending but in reality the shuriken are just as deadly with his hands and his accuracy is quite good.

Appearance

Spoiler:
 

Height: 6"2
Weight: 195LB
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Skin: Caucasian (Slight Tan)

Ryu is your average looking citizen of The Earth Kingdom. Brown hair is one of their main features just as their green eyes. One of Ryu's most distinguishing features is his bushy eyebrows which people tend to mention when describing him. His hair is naturally spiked the way it is but when combed down or wet his hair reached his neck. Sometimes he braids it back so it doesn't become a distraction on the battlefield. His body mass matches his height pretty well and so does his tone and definition. His muscles are visible but he isn't bulging. As for clothing Ryu doesn't overdress but simply wears a black tank-top which most army men wear under their normal wear. On his lower body he wears baggy traditional Earth Nation pants that end around his shin. As for his shin they're taped up in boxing tape the same could be said for his forearms and lower section of the hand. Around his hands are a pair of gloves which have a thin metal plate planted on the backhand of each glove. The gloves themselves are dark green but the metal plates are gold in color. Around his neck he wears a medallion which is the Earth Kingdom logo. As for his feet he wears sandals over the boxing tape.

Weaponry & Other Gear: (Omit this field if no such items)

Item Name Gloves
Materials: Cotton, Metal
Description: Green gloves with a metal plate on the backhand center. The center can be used for the purpose of metal bending.


Item Name Shuriken
Materials: Steel
Description: Shuriken used by Ryu to manipulate with his metalbending and hands normally for throwing.

Item Name Ryu's Battle Wear
Materials: Cotton, Platinum, Steel
Description: On his shoulders he wears platinum shoulder plates. Around his biceps there are three stripes of platinum which are weaved into the sleeve of the shirt. As for his forearms they are covered in more platinum which extend to the wrist. His clothing is dark green and buttons down from the middle. Near his chest on his left side his shirt has the earth nation insignia. His pants are the same shade of green but have 4 thin plates of steel on each side in the thigh region which Ryu uses for battle. His boots are a darker shade of green and contain more platinum. On the shin side area on his boots he stores his shuriken in side pouches.

History:

A miracle baby is what you could describe Ryu as. See Jan and Koaba whom would become the parents of Ryu were trying to conceive for years but all attempts failed until they got the announcement about their pending pregnancy with what would soon be Ryu. After Jan birthed the healthy boy who weighed 7.4LB at birth the couple realized how much the boy looked like Jan's father she decided to name the boy after him which is how he got the name Ryu.

Koaba who wasn't a man of much travel at first seemed keen on raising his son in the Northern Water Tribe where he and his family lived for a number of years with Koaba's ill grandmother. Roughly the first 2-3 years of Ryu's life. There he studied in school and even began practicing water bending which he never had a niche for. His father decided the boy was probably better suited to become a warrior and he should find a weapon craft.  Upon the death of Koaba's grandmother he moved his family to Gaoling where Koaba's father-in-law whom was Jan's father lived. The original Ryu. He was delighted to finally meet his grandson who heard looked a lot like him.

Early on Ryu knew of his grandsons affinity of earth. It was evident in those giant green eyes of his that he was meant to be an earth bender like his grandfather. He decided it was up to him to teach him the craft since his mother Jan wasn't really the teaching kind of earth bender. She was the earth bender who would throw boulders at Koaba for messing up the house. Most of the early training Ryu learned took place underground where he and his grandfather practiced the fundamentals of bending which included stance and style. The young boy Ryu had already been through this in his birthplace of the Northern Water Tribe where he learned basic water bending stance which was instilled in him at this point. He'd be a very light on the toes style of earth bender.

Around the time Ryu was 8 his father would regularly take the boy to the Northern Water Tribe without his wife Jan whom was Ryu's mother.  Ryu was too young to make any of this but he would in a few years. While their he normally stayed with a woman and their daughter whom happened to be about two years younger than Ryu. They looked alike oddly. It wasn't until Ryu heard his father talking to the woman in private that he was the older brother of this girl. Ryu was so confused he walked all the way in the room where his father explained those weren't for his ears to hear. The little girl already knew her relation to Ryu. She was so young but yet so poised. It was like she had it more figured out compared to Ryu. The older the two got the less their father became involved in their trips and the more he stayed at home with Ryu's mother and Koaba's wife Jan. It was clear he hadn't really been there much for his sister as he had with him.

It was almost as if his sister and her mother had another member of the family in Ryu. When he finished his training with his grandfather he normally escaped to Ba Sing Se with them for a few days. His younger sister had a cool mother who was an agent of the shadows for awhile. A Dai Li agent which she wasn't really suppose to go bragging about but knew the kids should know. This intrigued Ryu a lot considering he was a very influenced person. His favorite bender was Toph who he would mimic his light footed water bending pro style of earth bending. This was one of the main reasons Ryu would like to join the army when he becomes eligible. As for Ryu's sister? She was a real water bender and her style often kept Ryu on his toes with his water bending style of earth bending. Her mother around the time Ryu was 16 and his sister was 13 turning 14 soon would begin teaching the boy how to metal bend something she could never teach her daughter.

Between his grandfather teaching him the prowess of an earth bender and his sister teaching him his light footed style of water technique and her mother teaching Ryu how to metal bend the boy became overwhelmed. By the time he was 20 years old he considered himself decent in these skills. He wanted a bit more practice though. On his own at that. Before declaring eligible for the army the boy would set out on his own into the desert where he honed his craft as a hand to hand specialist and learned about shuriken from a sand bender he met out there. Returning upon the age of 22 Ryu spent most of his free time training and working on growth as a warrior as he began his life in the army.




**OPTIONAL**
Sample RP:

A swift wall is what stood in the way of the fierce and hungry earth bender. His field vision was highly capable of perception and he would be able to complete his task very easy. A swift sound throughout the air it was buzzing steel, Something you would hear from a buzzard in the air. It was a shuriken spinning breaking the air around it as it spun so fast. You could compare it to the churning of twine as  it began to rip through the rock directly to Ryu's 6 which would be behind him. His wrist made a swift flick  as that happened which brought multiple shuriken from his pouch. His stance changed as his legs began to loosen up and feel the grip of the steel in his hands even though it was air bound. The recurring feeling of pressure could be felt in his senses as he mentally gripped the steel before he curled his hand into a fist crushing the shuriken into steel balls opening his palm swiftly the balls of steel shot forward into the wall directly in front of Ryu. Aiming both his hands forward open as if he were a zombie he would bring them back to his midsection before he shifted to the right causing a ripple sound to be heard from the rock. The steel acted as a drill but they were connection forming a bo staff from what it seemed. Bringing his left arm down Ryu would single his right arm into the sky as a rod ripped from the wall causing it to tumble around the surrounding area which caused Ryu to smirk as he watched the metal bo fly past his face before Ryu charged forward advancing to the crumbling wall subjecting him to be crushed but no. A slicing motion with his right arm would split the wall into two an the rod came back with a flick of Ryu's wrist breaking once more  into thin metal shits which ripped through the falling rock until the point it was dust. But the time the dust began to settle walking from it was Ryu in his army wear emerged twirling the bo staff omitting his prowess with metal bending as a top option for the Earth Kingdom. The presedence had to be made and the Earth Kingdom needed to know. Ryu was the man they should have lead their nation into battle.

Character Box:


Ryu "The Breeze" Taru



Fill the void.

Mood:Relaxed
Condition:Rested



Last edited by Ryu Taru on Sun Dec 28, 2014 1:46 am; edited 6 times in total
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Meili
Superb Member
Meili

Posts : 531
EXP : 43135
Birthday : 1991-01-16
Join date : 2011-11-30
Age : 28
Location : Wasatch Valley

Character Description
Age: 43
Position: Earth Queen
Nation: Earth Kingdom

They call him Ryu [Expert]  Empty
PostSubject: Re: They call him Ryu [Expert]    They call him Ryu [Expert]  EmptyTue Dec 23, 2014 1:25 am

Okay. so I'll be honest here. that read was... painful.

A lot of it was a collection of simple spelling or grammatical errors, and so I would definitely recommend touching it up in Microsoft Word or something similar. most browsers (heck, I think Internet Explorer even) have a loose spellcheck feature as well, if you don't have Word for whatever reason.
But another big thing (and this was the one that made it so hard to read) was that your paragraphs were not spaced at all and so it was just one hardly-coherent wall of text that was difficult to pick apart. I did nearly lose my place a few times, although I can blame myself for that, just for the sake of benefit of the doubt. Not that we're stringent Grammar Nazis or anything here, but after a few spelling/grammar/formatting errors, someone's gotta say something.

Another thing that felt off was that the text felt like a dialogue rather than a narrative/description. there shouldn't be any "you"s, "I"s, "we"s, etc in such descriptions. just a writing tip for the day.

As for the story... I've admitted to being something of a scrooge when it comes to characters, and the clichéd "mom dies in childbirth, dad dies by bandits" thing is used an awful lot. Just a pointer if you were shooting for originality, cuz that one has been done over 116,000,003 times, according to my last records. xB

Perhaps an additional curiosity I have is how two waterbenders can produce an earthbender. I'm not entirely sure that's possible and bending canon isn't exactly something I like doing much. As for the Water Tribes themselves, both of them have solid leaders (Nelekar in the south, Zurok in the north), and so there is no succession crisis, or any openings in the Water Tribes anyways, regardless of his lack of ambition to ascend to the throne or what have you.

Another thing I greatly dislike is child prodigies (which were in the original series, and I didn't like those either to be honest). That is actually why we have the age limits on the tiers, and it seems like this kid has kind of been an expert from the get-go, or has simply been surrounded by folks with a level of confidence akin to stormtroopers from Star Wars. it all just feels... rushed, and then after he's 15, he's become the expert he is now before suddenly turning 25.

This is not a rejection... just that unfortunately, there is an awful lot wrong with this profile that would need fixed before I could comfortably accept it. Please don't take it the wrong way, as it is nothing personal. We simply strive for certain and somewhat high standards of character creation here on NC, and of course, I do my best to practice what I preach.
feel free to PM me (Zulera) if you have any questions.

_______________________
They call him Ryu [Expert]  GdtAyPMeili--Forum AdminThey call him Ryu [Expert]  Meloetta-pirouette [AKA Zul]
"Everything I do, I do for my people. Know this, and know that the Earth Kingdom will never fall as long as its people remain loyal to their nation." I do not fear your threats; I am Meili Mitali Zalika.
Meili Mitali Zalika--55th Earth Queen
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Dong Wang
Junior Member
Dong Wang

Posts : 17
EXP : 395
Join date : 2014-12-22

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PostSubject: Re: They call him Ryu [Expert]    They call him Ryu [Expert]  EmptyTue Dec 23, 2014 10:55 am

In regards to formatting this may help with your dialogue.

Also, if you don't have word google docs is a savior.

Just trying to help. Smile
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Ryu Taru
Junior Member
Ryu Taru

Posts : 27
EXP : 775
Join date : 2014-12-21

They call him Ryu [Expert]  Empty
PostSubject: Re: They call him Ryu [Expert]    They call him Ryu [Expert]  EmptyTue Dec 23, 2014 10:57 am

Its used to negate using the name 10000 times
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Meili
Superb Member
Meili

Posts : 531
EXP : 43135
Birthday : 1991-01-16
Join date : 2011-11-30
Age : 28
Location : Wasatch Valley

Character Description
Age: 43
Position: Earth Queen
Nation: Earth Kingdom

They call him Ryu [Expert]  Empty
PostSubject: Re: They call him Ryu [Expert]    They call him Ryu [Expert]  EmptySat Dec 27, 2014 1:11 am

I still don't really see any difference to be honest. besides, it was not just the grammar that I was griping about. the actual writing of the character was part of the problem, as I addressed in several places in my earlier post.

again, not trying to put you down or anything here... just that we've got standards that I can't really bend unless I want to bend them for everyone.

_______________________
They call him Ryu [Expert]  GdtAyPMeili--Forum AdminThey call him Ryu [Expert]  Meloetta-pirouette [AKA Zul]
"Everything I do, I do for my people. Know this, and know that the Earth Kingdom will never fall as long as its people remain loyal to their nation." I do not fear your threats; I am Meili Mitali Zalika.
Meili Mitali Zalika--55th Earth Queen
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Meili
Superb Member
Meili

Posts : 531
EXP : 43135
Birthday : 1991-01-16
Join date : 2011-11-30
Age : 28
Location : Wasatch Valley

Character Description
Age: 43
Position: Earth Queen
Nation: Earth Kingdom

They call him Ryu [Expert]  Empty
PostSubject: Re: They call him Ryu [Expert]    They call him Ryu [Expert]  EmptySun Dec 28, 2014 1:58 am

there you go. just don't go overboard.
APPROVED

_______________________
They call him Ryu [Expert]  GdtAyPMeili--Forum AdminThey call him Ryu [Expert]  Meloetta-pirouette [AKA Zul]
"Everything I do, I do for my people. Know this, and know that the Earth Kingdom will never fall as long as its people remain loyal to their nation." I do not fear your threats; I am Meili Mitali Zalika.
Meili Mitali Zalika--55th Earth Queen
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