The Last Airbender: New Chapters RP
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The Last Airbender: New Chapters RP - take a roleplay voyage through the world of The Last Airbender.
 
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 Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished)

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Akhet
Chinatsu Irion
6 posters
AuthorMessage
Chinatsu Irion
Regular Member
Chinatsu Irion


Posts : 60
EXP : 715
Join date : 2011-10-16

Character Description
Age: 7
Position: Student
Nation: Water Tribes

Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished) Empty
PostSubject: Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished)   Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished) EmptyWed Jan 16, 2013 1:51 pm

Full Name: Zarah Pendragon
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Element: Fire
Birthplace: Fire Fountain City
Position: Traveler
Training:
Fire bending: expert
Lightening bending: intermediate

Personality: (word count: 249) Warning: Traveling Female ahead with attitude and disciplined principles; approach with caution. Zarah has a calm head, but can resource to violence only if needed at the drop of a hat. But just because she is like this, does not mean she is to be feared. She understands that fire is the element that wants to spread in an effort to help others. But all it does it hurt others. So through traveling, she can see how the other cultures and Nations work together and see if they ever are in need of help. There is a second side to this outgoing, happy go lucky girl who wants to do well.

Babette: The Traveling Protectress of Fire and Lightening
Behold, her spirit form

This is the alter-ego Zarah took ok when she was traveling in the Earth Kingdom. She stayed in a small city for the night. As she ate her dinner, people told her about the wrath of the local Fire Nation soldiers who were oppressing them by threatening to burn down their homes and lively hood. As the villagers went to sleep that night, she placed on her black pants and shirt. She wore an Earth kingdom cloak and traveled to where these soldiers were. Her eyes were covered with a mask with eye holes and her face had strange patterns of reds, gold’s and oranges. Babette means the traveling protectress of fire and lightening. So it is easy to say, she lived up to the name by scarring away the soldiers.

Abilities: (word count: 230)
Fire Bending: Zarah has been learning the art of fire bending since she was seven. Her first time fire bending was in the middle of the night when she was five in her mother’s arms, being rocked while it was storming outside. Since that moment she had been intrigued in learning how to use the ability she had and bothered her parents until they agreed to hire a fire bending mentor. She started training when she turned seven, slowly moving from beginning moves to intermediate by the time she was ten. It took her six years to become a expert upon turning sixteen. That’s when she learned the powers of Lightening bending.

Lightening Bending: After becoming an expert in fire bending at the age of sixteen, Zarah had learned the powers of lightening bending. Her tutor had to find someone to recommend Zarah’s family to teach her the ways of lightening bending. Thankful for him, some girl owed him a favor. And luck for Zarah, she was a lightening bender. After five months of starting her lightening bending styles, Zarah conjured her first lightning strike in a thunder shower a-top of a mountain on Ember Island. After accomplishing this goal, she became better at doing this skill. Unfortunately the instructor only stayed long enough for Zarah to become good at bending said sub-element. She was better than a beginner, but under the stats of an expert.

Appearance:
Height: 5 feet 8 inches
Weight: 125 lbs
Eyes: Hazel
Hair: Black
Skin: Pale

(word count: 271) This traveler is not to be messed with. She may look like nothing when she passes you by in the cities, towns, villages or forest paths; but looks can be deceiving. Standing at five feet, eight inches tall bare footed; Zarah is of typical Fire Nation build. Her is skin is pale just like others from her Nation. Some would think that since you are a part of the Fire Nation you would be tanned, but it’s quite the opposite. Her hair is long, straight and black. Some can say her hair is the color of a moonless and starless night sky. Her hazel eyes match the color of the accents on her garments.

Being a traveler means that one must be ready for any type of temperature change. Zarah is typically dressed in a black pant with a red skirt over top with hip-high slits in the skirt. She wears a black shirt in which the sleeves stop right before the bend in her elbow. Both the black shirt and the red jacket top piece are belly tops exposing her bottom rib cage, abdomen and belly button. She wears red flats with a point in the toe. She has a hazel-ish color pendent with the insignia of the Fire Nation on it piecing her shirts together. The lining of her skirt is in the same color. Her bag is black carrying only money, some food, a few changes of clothes and a winter coat in case she decides to travel to one of the water tribes in the colors of her nation but in the materials of the tribes’ people.

Weaponry & Other Gear: (Omit this field if no such items)

Item Name (Copy-paste as many times as needed)
Materials:
Description:

History: (word count: 534) On a hot summer’s day, Zarah Pendragon had been born to a happy couple with an older son. This would be the last child the Pendragon’s would have seeing as they did not want to have more children. Zarah’s older brother has four years older than she was. It was odd; you see that they share the same birthday. So in a way, he got the best and worse gift ever on that day. Her older brother loved his sister very much and it seemed their bond grew stronger as they got older.

Her brother was a good fire bender by the time he turned nine. He was studying hard and practicing as much as possible. So when the time came that everyone found out the Zarah was a fire bender, it was time to find a new teacher to teach both of them. After finding a teacher they both began to learn under his instruction. He was harsh with both of the children, which was a good thing since fire bending is a source that one person drives themselves to do. So if one gets mad, it may improve their ways.

Her older brother was always there to look out after her. If someone were to ever hurt her or talk to her wrongly, her brother was there. But he was also teaching her a lesson. She would soon realize what this lesson would be when it came time to that point, but we are getting way too far ahead. Let’s take a step back and look at what has happened after turning sixteen.
After Zarah turned sixteen and her brother turned twenty, she learned she was a lightening bender. Her fire bending teacher sought out on old friend that had owed him a favor. It turned out that this friend was a lightening bender as well as a fire bender. She taught Zarah how to bend and redirect lightening. Zarah then showed her older brother on how to redirect it in case he would get in trouble with a lightening bender. She had become quite knowledgeable in this art forum. That’s when the teacher got out was after she became better than an expert on the subject matter.

When Zarah turned twenty, she left her home and family for a life full of traveling. She still keeps in contact with her older brother as well as meeting them. Right now she is in the northern part of the Earth kingdom working her way down through the nation, wanting to skip over the desert. She wishes to see the water tribes, air temples and other remote parts of the world to help others as her alter-ego; Babette: the protecteress of fire and lightening. When she sees that the Fire Nation is doing something out of reason and it has direct blows to someone else, she will quickly get rid of the situation; even if it means she is a traitor to her home Nation.

When she does go back to her Nation for a stay on Ember Island or at home she doesn’t like to talk about her travel’s much. Nobody can know who she is or her life could be in danger.

**OPTIONAL**
Sample RP and Character Box:(461 words)


Zarah



Every light was out in the village. This was her chance. Zarah spotted the smoke from the top of the roof of the Inn. She tightened the mask around her eyes and added a few final touches of make-up on her face. She jumped from roof to roof until her feet found a branch. She made her way into the jungle from tree to tree. It took her several minutes to reach the encampment of the rouge Fire Nation Soldiers. She watched them closely. Some drinking, some gambling, others eating and playing music. She signaled where the leader was. She found the branch that would bring her closer to the center of the camp.

She jumped from the tree pretending to be a hurt civilian. Two of the people came to where she was. ”Spying on a Fire Nation army is a bad thing little girl” one of them said, she came up to her feet and simply laughed. ”Yes it is bad, for you.” then she began her assault on the tiny army. She used her fire bending to burn down the tents. She began to use lightening bending to move the men in almost a perfect line. As some tried to attack her she used her fire bending to protect herself. As she got everyone were she wanted them she narrowed her eyes. She shot lightening at them. They all moved and began to run away from the village in a panic. She propelled herself into the sky above the camp. She burned the rest of what was left.

She was soon consumed by the smoke. She made sure that the fire would not spread to the town before finding the village. She dropped to the ground near the fountain. A man stood there. He looked at her as she looked at him. She looked down as if he was going to scorn her. Instead of doing something terrible, he helped her to her room, removing soot, ash and paint from the girls face. He gave her fresh water and some money. He bowed before leaving her. She ate the food and drank the water, soon after falling asleep.

When morning came she walked outside to find villagers rejoicing. ”The Fire Nation is gone! They are gone!” People cheered and danced in the alley ways and roads. She was amazed her work had been noticed like so. She looked to the village square and saw the old man. He winked at her. She nodded and looked around. Then as she went to look back at him he was gone. Could this have been a spirit or guardian guiding her? Or did he get lost in the masses? Whatever it was she ignored it and joined in on the celebration.


Mood: MOOD GOES HERE
Condition: CONDITION GOES HERE



Last edited by Zarah on Sat Jan 19, 2013 5:26 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Akhet
Superb Member
Akhet


Posts : 596
EXP : 14635
Birthday : 1991-01-16
Join date : 2012-07-14
Age : 33
Location : North America

Character Description
Age: 19
Position: Healer
Nation: Water Tribes

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PostSubject: Re: Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished)   Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished) EmptyThu Jan 17, 2013 12:03 am

I found it mostly okay, though I would like to point out a few things.
I'd definitely suggest running it through Word or some other software that checks for spelling and other errors and the likes. There are several typos, which are not inherently bad, but one of the biggest ones is in the color field around the first "Lightningbending", and that looks wonky.,

My only other complaint would be the style. It seems that you change writing styles several times (even from 3rd to 2nd person, to name one thing) throughout the profile. I'd advise finding a consistent style and sticking with it, as it makes it easier to read. Those are my thoughts.

(And yeah, even though rarely used on this site, 1st person is okay. I am just saying that there needs a bit more consistency).

Zul's thoughts.
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Renayu
Active Member
Renayu


Posts : 175
EXP : 3622
Join date : 2012-12-07

Character Description
Age: 30
Position: Tea Shop Waiteress
Nation: Water Tribes

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PostSubject: Re: Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished)   Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished) EmptyFri Jan 18, 2013 7:51 pm

Ok I checked it over and I think this app is ready for round two.
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Tarek
Superb Member
Tarek


Posts : 599
EXP : 11135
Birthday : 1992-06-29
Join date : 2012-08-02
Age : 31

Character Description
Age: 43
Position: Fire Lord
Nation: Fire Nation

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PostSubject: Re: Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished)   Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished) EmptySat Jan 19, 2013 1:24 pm

Glad you could fix it up Ren. I approve
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Loki
Staff Admin
Loki


Posts : 667
EXP : 5815
Join date : 2011-08-21

Character Description
Age: 22
Position: Thief
Nation: Air Temples

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PostSubject: Re: Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished)   Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished) EmptySun Jan 20, 2013 7:55 pm

Me too, dude. :3
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Renayu
Active Member
Renayu


Posts : 175
EXP : 3622
Join date : 2012-12-07

Character Description
Age: 30
Position: Tea Shop Waiteress
Nation: Water Tribes

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PostSubject: Re: Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished)   Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished) EmptySun Jan 27, 2013 5:34 pm

So, after getting two approvals and only needing one more I decided


to revoke this change. I'm still going to keep my maid, inscure little fire nation chicck, lol
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Hocus
Staff Admin
Hocus


Posts : 25
EXP : 461
Join date : 2012-12-31

Character Description
Age: 22
Position: Collector
Nation:

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PostSubject: Re: Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished)   Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished) EmptySun Jan 27, 2013 11:58 pm

On a revision, I wouldn't be worried about not getting more than two approvals.
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PostSubject: Re: Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished)   Zarah (Re-vamp: Finished) Empty

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